Everything That Kills Me Makes Me Feel Alive

One Republic's song, "counting stars,"contains this clever and poignant lyric: "everything that kills me makes me feel alive." Their video of the song has been viewed more than  1.5 billion (yes billion) times on Youtube, meaning that it has resonated with a large swath of humanity. The lyrics are slightly cryptic and open to a thousand interpretations which many have put forth. Here is my spin on one part of that song.

First as a pastor and communicator I am fascinated and my interest is piqued by what it could be in this song that has connected with so many people. As a song it lends it self to inviting the listener to sing along, catchy, and enjoyable. Yet, I think it is the lyrics that have pushed it over the top. My observation is that the song  addresses several common things many young people relate to. Detesting the need for and pursuit of money/things. Living outside of societies square box, and then what for me is the most interesting line of the song: "Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive".

In my late teens I had gotten heavily involved in drug use, I really enjoyed the way drugs made me feel. But, I slowly began to realize there was a bill to pay for all that "fun," and my life began to go steadily downhill. I was stealing to be able to buy drugs, I had gotten arrested, and I came to understand that I had a love/hate relationship with drugs. The fun came at an ever increasing cost, with an ever decreasing enjoyment. I struggled with suicide, hated myself, and battled depression. (At 18 I had very few life skills to deal with depression, it was a very dark time in my life.) The following picture is one of many like it that have been posted to the internet by suicide survivors, and it echoes the sentiments of many.

One night on LSD I tried to jump from the 6th floor of the apartment building I was living in. Friends stopped me, I was too high to understand what I was doing. They made me go to drug counseling, I went once, hated it. I was smart enough to realize that I needed more than words to change me. A short time later getting high on the roof of the same building, I looked to heaven and said to God, "I need some power to come inside me and help me." Desperate for change, I managed to join the US Navy, and was transferred to Japan. I soon realized that even though I changed locations, and my life situations, I still took, "me," with me. I continued taking drugs, and even got busted for that while in the service. I attempted suicide a few more times, and fell into greater depression because not only was I a failure, but I was a failure at committing suicide. (For which I an now very grateful to God about!)

Then on September 3rd, 1974 I had a dramatic encounter with the living God, and felt Him and His power come inside me. In the book of Revelation it says, "I stand at the door and knock, if anyone opens the door I will come in to him." My rooftop prayer was answered, I was radically changed, and the power of drugs over me was broken. I have since realized that everything that God calls sin, there is bill of suffering that comes along with those who dabble therein. One Republic, far from a Christian band, had enough life insight to say, "Everything that KILLS me, makes me feel alive." The bible puts it this way, "the wages of sin is death." Whether or not you believe in God, that fact remains. Whether or not you believe what the bible calls sin, is sin, that fact remains. Though you may party and laugh on the outside, on the inside the bill for sin will always cost you more than the pleasure sin brings you.

Perhaps, like One Republic, you recognize that everything that makes you feel alive, KILLS you. Perhaps you should consider answering that knock on the door of your heart. Jesus has the power to change you from the inside out. Personally I really enjoy scifi movies, and like many am a fan to the Star Wars series. In one of the first movies a whole planet (Alderann) is destroyed by something called the "Death Star," a Jedi Knight by the name of Obi Wan Kenobi, speaking of that event says: "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened." In my heart, I have that kind of a sense for people who are overdosing, and those caught in all kinds of lifestyles that are killing them. Drugs, pornography, gambling, alternate sexual identities, they all come with a big price tag. God heard that cry before the world began and He sent His son Jesus to do something about it. Sin will always send you a bill, and then send the worst collection agents there are after you. Look up, reach up, and call out to God, He has the power to overcome the forces of the Empire.

666 A Novel Approach

Revelation 13:18 This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man’s number. His number is 666.

This one cryptic verse of scripture has been the basis for more wild theories than almost any other sentence ever written. Some say its a bar code, others give letters a numeric value and find a way to add up almost anyone's name to 666. For some it's Monster energy drink, for others it is the pope, or the imam mahdi, or the president, or Prince Charles yada yada yada, you get the idea.

For some reason while driving the other day I thought about that number, and I thought about the only verse in the bible that is a 6:66 - John's gospel chapter 6, verse 66. I pondered and wondered if the two could be related, probably not, but then again...

John 6:66 From that [time] many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.

John 6:66 is a verse that talks about people turning their back on God. So my thought very simply is this - the antichrist will be a fallen Christian leader, perhaps a very famous one.

I was recently in Ireland, and one evening my family and I had dinner at a restaurant in Dublin, where you not only get food, you get entertained with a couple of hours of Irish history and folk tales. One historical insight shared that evening has stuck with me. Many years ago most of the Irish lived in mud homes, and Ireland, as you may know, is famous for the amount of rainfall it gets. It is that rain that causes the grass to be so lush, splashing the landscape with beautiful shades of green. The problem with mud homes and rain, is water. Water could wash your home away, but as long as you kept a fire going on the inside, it would keep the rain from destroying your home. It would keep the rain from washing away your walls.

Historically walls keep enemies out. Biblically one of the ways of looking at walls is to understand them as standards, the code by which you live. A line in your heart and mind, that you will not cross. Behavior that you will not walk in. The rain of this world is always trying to wash your standards away, it is always trying to eat at your walls. The solution is the one found in Ireland keep the fire burning and your walls will stay true. Christians who lose the fire of passion and love for God invariable also let their standards slip. Keep the fire burning, and your standards won't slip, if you don't the wind and rain will knock your house down. Perhaps that is what will happen to the man whose number is 666.

Keep your fire burning.

Troublemaker

We live in a day and an age where the church is being shouted into silence. To express a view that runs contrary to where our culture is, is to open yourself up to ostracism, castigation, and verbal and legal assault. Make no mistake about it, this is not the land of free speech. Expressing a Christian viewpoint will bring out societies killer bees, and they do have a very sharp sting in their tail!

 

Because of that many have adopted a keep quiet approach. I am not saying that is without merit, I tend to think in terms of, choose your battles wisely. Will speaking up improve the situation, or only exacerbate it? Questions we should ask ourselves before we open our mouths. Yet, what we have to say is of extreme importance. In the picture at the top of this post, Nathan the prophet is confronting David about his sinning with Bathsheba. We see the prophets bony finger pointing at him and down through the corridors of time we here those penetrating words, "behold, thou art the man!" David had heard a story from the prophet about a rich guy who had stolen a lamb from a poor guy, and as king he was incensed and ready to issue judgment. That is when the prophet revealed to him the story was about David himself, who had stolen the wife and life of an honest and good man. 

With that rebuke, David found his way back home to God. I don't think God wants us to point our bony finger in the face of everyone we think is living wrong, and yet there are those to whom we will be sinning if we don't help them turn their ship around. Consider what Ezekiel the prophet was told by God:

Ezekiel 3:17 "Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me.
Ezekiel 3:18 "When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die’; and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
Ezekiel 3:19 "Yet if you have warned the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered yourself.

I think the danger of this age is twofold, getting all up in someone's business when it is not the right time in their life to effect change. The other is being so afraid of the culture that we become scared into silence. May God give us wisdom! Of the two dangers I think the latter is the one the church is most succumbing to. For that reason I leave you with the words of Jeremiah the prophet:

Jeremiah 20:8 Every time I open my mouth I’m shouting, "Murder!" or "Rape!" And all I get for my GOD-warnings are insults and contempt.
Jeremiah 20:9 But if I say, "Forget it! No more GOD-Messages from me!" The words are fire in my belly, a burning in my bones. I’m worn out trying to hold it in. I can’t do it any longer! (MSG)

 And always remember, keep your fire burning!